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How To Ask Uncomfortable Questions

October 21, 2013

The first rule is, don’t you be uncomfortable. We largely take our emotional cues from other people, so what makes a question uncomfortable is mostly in the asking. Whatever you are feeling as you are asking a question – awkward, nervous, uncomfortable, irritated, etc. – will be channeled to the person you are communicating with. If you cringe or otherwise act uncomfortable when asking a question, it will most likely be uncomfortable for the person hearing it. Even if you expect the question to be uncomfortable no matter what, you will only make it worse by transmitting these types of signals with your body language. However, if you are relaxed, confident, and comfortable when you ask, it will feel much more natural and pleasant to the receiver.

If you are uncomfortable asking a question you might consider A) not asking it or B) becoming comfortable with the necessity of doing so, so that you don’t transmit your own discomfort along with it. That way, whatever discomfort the other person experiences from hearing the question will at least be their own, not yours.


From → Psychology

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