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The Futility Of Demands

December 20, 2013

Any victory won by demanding is hollow. If you have to demand respect, demand tolerance, demand obedience, demand agreement, demand support, you will not truly receive it.

Emotional needs that are met by demanding are never satisfied. In a relationship, if you make demands on your partner in order to feel more secure, you will only end up feeling less secure. This is because some part of you will always wonder if you would still receive what you wanted without demanding it, and thus whether you really deserve it.

How do you know the difference between a request and a demand?  If it’s a request, you are equally prepared to accept either a yes or a no.  If you are not willing to accept no for an answer, it is a demand.

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One Comment
  1. It’s interesting to hear this, because it proves to provide some closure where it’s been needed. In the world of relationships it’s important to love and accept. Patience is a virtue, and the aggression is definitely not legitimate. Even with relationships of the non-romantic sense–but let’s face it, all relationships can be romantic in their own sense–it’s important to stay strong when there is an aggressor blatantly promoting themselves through businesses they do not own, about irrelevant topics with posts on social media outlets, and they purposely go out of their way to make others look weaker simply because these jealous types cannot get their own way.

    It’s best to let the fussy, screaming adult-child cry it out while life carries on.

    However, for someone so personable, it was difficult for me to go out in public with such an insecure person, who generated fear. Her requests did turn into demands. It got to the point where simply hoping I did not run into others turned into purposely ignoring people even though I saw them out of the corner of my eye. I would never introduce my ex “properly” or “thoroughly” to others. If it we came across a female friend, even if it was a married female friend, an inappropriate interrogation would happen when my friends would be out of an earshot.

    I’ve always been the type of guy who acknowledges everyone new and familiar, says hello/goodbye to everyone I know whether it’s passing them in public or at a social gathering,The expectations that I was supposed adhere to made me look “never good enough,” and these expectations were stiffened and broadened. It resulted in my losing friends and confidence.

    Sorry for the long comment, but this post struck a chord. Thank you.

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