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Monogamy And Fear

September 21, 2013

In my observation, most monogamous people live in either conscious or subconscious fear of the thought: “What if the person you love loves somebody else?” The result is that most monogamous relationships are predicated on a form of emotional mutually assured destruction, the implicit agreement that “I won’t trigger your jealousy if you don’t trigger mine”. The social script for monogamy is so prevalent that in most cases it doesn’t need to be explicitly discussed: “I (you) won’t harbor any outside attractions; or if I (you) do, I (you) certainly won’t reveal them; or if I (you) do, I (you) absolutely won’t act on them.” Or, stated differently, “You’d better not be attracted to anybody else, but if you are for God’s sake keep it to yourself.” In most social circles this unspoken script remains solidly enough in place that the emperor can still comfortably flaunt his naked body.

If telling a big enough lie long enough and loud enough leads to it being believed, how much more so a truth? What will change throughout society as the question “how will we deal with outside attractions” becomes as commonly acknowledged and discussed by couples as “how will we deal with birth control”?

To repurpose an old one-liner, “95% of couples admit to having outside attractions. The other 5% are lying.”

One Comment
  1. Anala permalink

    Sometimes I wonder if the soul more stutter can wander from ignorance. Could you tell me you?

    Of course, it is not easy to determine that it is absolutely good or bad in this reality. Conflict, competition, prejudice; having multiple sexual partners is very widespread in the animal kingdom in general, as well as everything previously said. Although, we can ‘ignore’ instinctual reactions (mating strategies or as interpreted by the human being) that are related to these processes or behaviors (matching multiple), the damage with regard to our legacy in nature, that is to say our offspring, will persist.

    The sex is nothing more than a individual sacrifice; and if we do it well, the benefit of the species.

    To do this well, we have to choose well. Our genetic code and its regulator will determine who is the ideal; however, what can be wrong in our election? We do so to a greater extent than we think, what if you do not wish to pick? It doesn’t matter, because something will do.

    Namo Buddhaye

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